Emotion

    Writing so often about the human experience in a way where everything just feels so EDGY loses its lust fast. Great art is great because it is able to shroud aspects of experience in ways that could be completely ignored and taken as fun light hearted humor. The animated TV show RICK AND MORTY does this EXTREMELY WELL. Touching on social and political topics in a 22 minute animated Television show all while being entertaining and funny to watch is an amazing feat done by the show. My blog isn't great art. It's a dumb college boy trying to write his feelings and emotions so he doesn't feel icky anymore. Do I read my own posts after posting them? NO, OF COURSE. I type all these words and ideas, click post, and am able to sleep easier at night because of it. Is this a larger comment on my own fear of my feelings only being accepted when they are on a public platform with eyes to read while still feeling hypocritical and judgmental when others do it on other platforms? OF COURSE IT IS. But I don't know how to fix this besides just writing more. It's not like I only want to talk about SAD BOIS moments, the last two posts have been about god knows what, and I have a few more in the back burner not quite ready to share either. I'd like to think the posts where I'm not being super emo are the posts where I can feel proud of. Something I'm willing to share and say "hey look this is my opinion on a thing and I think I wrote well! Do you agree?" But those moments only come so often, while it seems 95% of the time I just want to type some words down, get my emotions out of the way and go to bed. Is it because I don't know how to handle my own emotions and writing them here helps me keep them in check or at least ignore them till the next day? OF COURSE, wait I feel like I'm just repeating the same thing now.

    This is the place I'm stuck. I'm so narcissistic that I only feel comfortable talking about other things when I'm in check and the only way to get myself in check is by writing about how I FEEL, or why I FEEL SO EDGY 2DAY. And that's pretty fukin frustrating just because I don't think anyone likes feeling edgy lmao. It's sorta awful and annoying in the way of enjoying anything. You often read artists talk about a dark time in their lives and using those experiences to help them create their what seems often greatest piece of work they've ever done. And here I am lost!!! I'm not an artist!! I think I'm a creative type? Although I'm unsure where or how to express these creative thoughts! And that's what this fuqin blug is for. But is the blug really a solution if this dark feeling keeps coming back?????

WHO KNOWS

whats next dude!!

ur not funny