CHANGE

      Change is a difficult aspect of life that I don't think I do really well with. Well at least BIG CHANGE. Going from a middle school where I knew everyone to a high school where I practically know nobody, and now for it to happen all over again in college, except this time I'm not a punk ass middle school kid but an arrogant lil fuq. Every transition seems to be radically different from the last meaning no matter how well prepared you may think you are, you really have no idea how to handle a big change in your life. The classic gut reaction from me is to be really sad during night and just really angry during the day, all while having a facade of being a clown on the outside (which probably doesn't help much either.)

     Adapting seems to be the most difficult part of the whole process and I really don't like it. It's understandable, nobody likes the rough parts! My life motto is that "Everything works out in the end." but damn man, the middle part fucking suck. Adapting to a whole new environment where you essentially know nobody and everyone you know that was super close to you is now hours away from you hurts. It's difficult to replace a long term relationship with a person you just met for a few weeks. Everyone else seems to do it so easily! How is it possible?!? Are they just lying to themselves?? Is everything just fake?!? I don't know and that's what's so upsetting. It's hard to share tough times too, especially when you have no one close to share it with. I'm angry, most of it probably being unjustified angst from the big transition and I don't know what to do with it all. I don't know how to make friends I truly respect, I don't know how to appreciate myself, and I don't know what to do with all my time and unrestricted freedom.

     There's a lot of change happening and I don't know how to handle it all so right now I'm just flopping like a fish out of water. But hey! Hopefully it does work out because if it doesn't shit idk what I'd do, maybe start a lemonade stand?